Kids say the darndest things

• On most days I make Louie and Benny sit at opposite ends of the table because the reaction that occurs when they get too close is more than I can handle on most days. On Sunday they got together for breakfast and I decided to let them go, then immediately regretted it when they started beating each other with their forks. I yelled for them to stop and get away from each other when Lou says to me,

  "Mommy, why don't you want us to be who we are?"

• When we were in the pool Ben and Lou were pretending to be sea lions, going through the water searching for fish to have for lunch. Sea lions make a barking sound (from what Lou tells me), and Louie is swimming around saying, "Arf! Arf!" Benny, being his shadow, is right behind yelling, "ARK! ARK!" (Okay, it didn't come off as funny in the written form, but let me assure you that it made me laugh.)
• We were driving around last week and I hear Lou call out from the back of the van, "I wish I knew what was going on with my butt!" Looking back in the rear-view mirror I saw him hopping around in his car seat. Come to find out his bottom itched.
• He'll kill me in the years to come if he knew I posted this, but it's so funny. Lou seems to always have story for his bowel movements. The other day he had just finished eating a banana and it must have gone straight through him because he's telling me how there is the bottom and the top of the banana in the potty. And sure enough, it really did look like someone had just separated the two parts of the banana (if the banana was about 9 months old, of course). Another time he told me that the daddy and the babies poops were swimming in the water. I'll let you come up with an image for that yourself.
• Yesterday while I was driving Lou asked me if I had ever heard of "Tom & Jerry." "Like the cat and mouse show?" I asked. "Yeah, we saw it on TV at Grandma and Grandpa H's. It's new. I'm Tom and Ben is Jerry."